Dear Diary,
The dark days continue for my son and I: today is Mrs. Corinthos' third day in our home. I awoke to find her ransacking the bedroom. She was throwing jewelry into a filthy old handkerchief, screaming that she wasn't keeping any of Mr. Corinthos' gifts, "except of course this house, the car, my skanky clothes, the credit cards, the wads of money, and everything else I own. But not the jewelry. I have principles!"
Worse yet was when she discovered my jewelry in the dresser. I had managed to remove most of my things from the master bedroom, but hadn't gotten to everything. "What is this crap?" she snarled. "It's tasteful and restrained. I'll never get laid wearing this!" And with that, she threw it away!
I convinced her to go out and spend some of Mr. Corinthos' ill-gotten cash -- "just think about the knee caps that were broken so you could buy another backless, topless hot pink dress. That will make you feel better!" -- and as soon as she left I retrieved my jewelry from the trash. Aie, that woman! My mother taught me patience in the face of adversity, but if it weren't for my son I swear, I would stab her in her sleep.
With Mrs. Corinthos safely out of the house, Michael and I had a nice quiet morning. I thought it prudent for us to be gone before Mrs. Corinthos got back, but just as we were leaving Mr. Corinthos knocked on the door. He mumbled something that sounded like "Check out my Harley" or maybe "I sure love Chris Farley," but it might have been "I'm looking for Carly" and I didn't see a bike, so I let him in.
"Uncle Sonny!" Michael came running into the room. "Are you here to see my Mommy? The scary lady is making her really sad. Can you make it better?" Brave boy, always thinking of me. "I sure can," said Mr. Corinthos, "All I've got to do is flash my dimples and these pinkie rings, and I'll have her back in my bed 24/7 and out of your lives in no time. Now mind your mommy." I think I like Mr. Corinthos.
Our afternoon out was nice, and blessedly free of the Corinthos'. Although we weren't able to choose a film. I wanted him to see Spirit or Scooby Doo, but he was fixated on darker films. "How about The Sum of All Fears?" said Michael. "Or Panic Room? That sounds like a movie about our house." We ended up spending the day in the insect room at the children's museum instead.