It's been a long time, dear diary, since I last wrote. No point in trying to get entirely caught up on the last year. A few highlights: My son Michael is getting bigger and doing quite well in school; Mr. Corinthos' sister (who, according to Michael, has "big boobies like Grandma Bobbie and big arms like Stare Daddy") married Stare Daddy himself, Mr. Morgan; and most recently, Mrs. Corinthos had a baby and Mr. Corinthos shot her in the head. Thanks to Our Lady of Slatterns that Michael was already born when I came to work here. Mr. Corinthos doesn't seem to deal well with pregnancy.
The day of the birth/shooting, Michael snuck out of the penthouse to visit the new baby at the hospital. He came back shivering with fear. "Mommy, Mumble Daddy said that he shot the scary lady in the head! I asked him why he shot her, and he said it was because he loves her! Is he going to shoot us too?" I hugged him close. "No Mijo, Mr. Corinthos doesn't love us or even remember us most of the time. So we have nothing to worry about."
This seemed to calm Michael. He told me about seeing Mrs. Corinthos in her coma: "She's sleeping, with all these tubes stuck in her nose, and she won't wake up! She's actually a lot less scary that way."